I'm a Slave for Food

Like handcuffed to it.  Can't escape it.  Get.  Me.  Out.  I think about food ALL of the time:  when I'm eating it, after eating, when I'm on a conference call, when I'm working out.  Basically whenever I'm not sleep.  I can't get out.  AH!!!!!!  Yes, it's a problem.  

The problem isn't that I don't know what I'm doing from a nutrition standpoint.  I do.  It's that, like a ton of other people, I'm a massive emotional eater.  And I work from home.  And I have little willpower.  Which all equals a big mess and bloat and weight gain and depression.  So I eat more.  What an awesome cycle.  

Here's yesterday's outline of what I ate:

• Egg substitute with reduced fat cheese, a piece of Ezekial bread and 1/2 banana
• Fat free ricotta with vanilla and strawberries
• Sauteed spinach
• Spaghetti squash with shrimp -- it's freaking delicious and will post recipe
  

Looks good, right?  Well, let's look at it again with everything really built in there.

• Egg substitute with reduced fat cheese, a piece of Ezekial bread and 1/2 banana 
• A little peanut butter before my workout 
  
• Then a few pieces of R's waffles when she wouldn't eat them, a bit of her toast with peanut butter and fluff that Mike put on it
• Fat free ricotta with vanilla and strawberries
• Too much Cool Whip with Sugar-Free/Fat-Free vanilla instant pudding
• A couple of bites of R's chocolate chocolate chip muffin at the grocery store (and FYI she only had a few bites herself -- I don't let her eat crap all day.  Actually, I should eat like she does)
  
• Sauteed spinach
• 1/2 mini calzone with marinara from Stew's and 1/2 mini empanada 
•  2 bite sized sugar-free chocolate chip cookies from Whole Foods
• Spaghetti squash with shrimp
• Couple of pieces of multigrain baguette with some fake butter
• Captain and diet 

WTF is wrong with me, right?  Who eats all that?  How do I not weight 1000 lbs?  Don't eat like I have recently.  UGH, I look at that and I'm disgusted with myself, but it's like I'm floating through air when I reach for this stuff and I.  Just.  Can't.  Stop.  Myself.  So I vent to my friend Sally, who's slowly becoming my little healthy mentor buddy (lucky her on so many levels).   She follows a modified gluten-free diet, but allows for indulgences and take breaks on the weekend.  For Sally, she's not eating this way for health reasons, but she's seen a huge difference in her body and her workouts since making the switch.  Last night, I told her I'd commit to making today a gluten-free day to see how I feel.  If the bloat goes away, I'm all for it.

Cheers